Monday, September 28, 2009

The award for not throwing name goes to...

ME! Yay! First loeries ever I can walk around the office and look people in their bleary eyes without felling intense shame and panic. I am also pretty dang pleased with myself for managing to tweet throughout the 3 days, 11 parties attended, madness. Only one spelling mistake and a handful grammatical errors is pretty dang awesome - I may be elligable for the first Nobel Tweeting Magnificence award. But, don't want to get ahead of myself. I'll do a brief re-cap - mostly just to show off about how freakin cool and connected I am. (Not really if I compare myself to The Jake Bester, but not bad.)

Thursday: Registered at about 9:30am. Bumped into T.J.B (The Jake Bester) had coffee and went shopping at the waterfront. Went to non-advertising friends braai. (What! People who aren't IN advertising - how absurd!) Then went to the BARE party, hosted by Ami boys. Some really cool bears. There was free punch, popcorn and candyfloss under a big marquee tent. Their new exibition space is pretty new age rad, dig the way they are getting folks to bid online for the BARE's - gonna rake in way more $$$ that way. Clever. Then went up the street to the FoxP2 party at Kink. Drank a Pussy. (New energy drink - not new 'persuasion'!) Was too sweet and nasty. Danced a little. (T.J.B was also there - a given)

Friday: Went to Mooi to get my hair done. (Hands down best hairdresser ever, about 6 fabulous foxy girls I know also get their hair done there.) Had tea and cupcake whilst getting hair cut - lovely. Went to Velocity party at the old Ignite. Men in tight leather mini's and heels squirting vodka into peoples mouths with giant syringes. That kind of thing. Took rad photos in their photo booth - want one for my living room when i get really really rich one day - Note bunny ears. Was relentlessly pursued by Jupiter man with a bottle of tequila, so arrived late and tipsy as hell at the Ogilvy pre-drinks. Broke shoe during the ceremony, after running around like a cheerleader on crack. Andy won gold and Mike ate a bag of something and danced with the minstrels. Which was actually T.J.B property. (T.J.B was obviously there too) Little bro gave me a lift home ( He was working there this year and just missed out on a Loerie this year. Next time dude!) Decided that limping around in tarty broken leather
-print stilettos was not very classy and went to sleep.

Saturday: Had breakfast with Gold Loerie winner @AndrewODo at Pukka. Went to Giant films party at The Grand in Camps. Was terribly posh and swanky. Nice chilled beats and wine. With oysters on a massive silver tray. Popped into Ogilvy lunch, then rushed to pimping party at this ridiculous mansion in camps bay. Where you could simply go up to the sushi chefs and order whatever you liked. Loads of seriously loaded BEE boys and girls there. Massive infinity pool and a private gym. Wanted to hide out and claim squatters rights in the morning, but left to go back to Giant party. Alexi got a booty call. Ogilvy got 'Lucky' (couldn't resist) and had way too many jaggers at the Cape to Cuba after party. Throwing name accounts: Craig puked in the middle of the bar and broke a glass table. Pretty. A certain client got rather frisky with everything that moved. Stemmlet had a mysterious neck 'injury' from the night before. Vampire proportions. (T.J.B was present - but missed out on the mansion party score +1 for Fluffy Bunny)

Sunday: Nothingness. refused Naomi Campbell style to get out of bed until the Captain brought me KFC. Which he eventually did after loads of nagging. Checked twitter all day for no particular reason. Worried I may be a little obsessed. How New Age sad.

Monday: Writing blog instead of working. Better start working. Sigh.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Beautiful, lovely flowers

The captain took me to Darling to see the wild flowers yesterday. Very romantic. Lots of frolicking and/or skipping involved. Went on an hour tractor ride into the fields. Such lovely smells and colours. Very inspiring. Made a little video - but don't know how to flip it! retard. So please tilt your head and watch - you get the gist of it! Added (mildly cheesy) Adele song to really get you in the mood.

Friday, September 18, 2009

4 Random Thoughts from the week

Gym encounter
I went to gym this morning, and popped in for a quickwizz before jumping on a machine. When I emerged from the cubicle, there was 'someone' waiting in line. I paused, mouth open, about to ask if maybe he was in the wrong bathroom, then stopped - Oh shit, I'm having a Semenya Moment! Then I thought about how stoked old Julius would be if he found out a blonde whitie had tuned someone in a gym bathroom. I closed my mouth and carried on walking, I did listen to hear if SheMan lifted the seat. She didn't. Close call.

Dinosaur Phase
Does everyone go through a dinosaur phase? My little bro did, but that was around about Jurassic Park time, so that made sense-ish. But now, my little almost-niece is also going through a dinosaur phase. Weird. Which made me think about all the kiddie dinosaur programmes - Barney, Denver the last dinosaur, the land before time, etc. Why are little humans so into dinosaurs? They can hardly tell you what they'd like for supper, but they're in love with creatures that roamed the earth millions of years ago? I never had a dinosaur phase. Will this result in a quarter-life crisis? "Oh dear, you didn't like the ol dino's, eh? Well I'm sorry to tell you, but you're totally fucked." Shit. Maybe it's some weird primal thing, left over from the caveman days? (Which makes me more advanced, or retarded. Not sure.) Gonna 'Google Shrink' this. Or just accept it and just continue with my life.

Nescafe Ad
There is this Nescafe ad on TV at the moment. It starts with saucy music, a close up of a pearl neklace, a girl drinking a cappuccino on a couch, she gets some foam on her lip etc. I've seen it loads of times, but didn't really pay attention, cause my brain has subconsciously pre-filed it as totally crap and not worthwhile. But then, last night it hit me. Jeez! The whole thing is a 'sexual metaphor'! Call me slow and/or an innocent. But what makes Nescafe think I'd want to drink a semen cappuccino!! Thats just freakin disgusting! Pearl Necklace. Coffee Bastards. Eeew! Boycotting.

There is this really cool BBC documentary about the Queen. I know it's just propaganda. It's supposed to make us all 'relate to her' on a 'human level'. But she isn't really human, is she? If they showed us things like her making a cup of tea or buying tampons, then maybe I'd buy what they are selling. Nice try BBC, you ain't fooling nobody!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Satan is in my radio

I was innocently driving and listening to the 5fm TOP 40 yesterday (Hosted by @Rob_Vember). I nearly swerved off the road when to my horror, Satan came on to announce the next part of the show. Really, like play your records backwards and get messages from the under world announcer. It was 'flippin scary bru!' 'Maybe it was some mistake? Surely this can't be for real, calm down Jen, maybe it's all in your head" But no, a few songs later he was back! It was like being in a very bad, 80's B-grade horror movie: Reee reee, it's coming from the radioooooo!! Satan is in the radio!!! Cue crazy demonic red alien thingy with horns 'emerging' from my tape-deck on the N1. Well at least it wasn't someone from Top Billing (I have a message from the 90's for you Alex Jay - it's over). Guess Satan would be a better announcer than Joanne Strauss. Probably a lot funnier too.

(Googled Satan Radio - found it. Obviously)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wrote a song

I am people
You are people
We are people too, the whole wide world is people toooo.


People People People People People People People People People People People
People People People People People People People People People People People

(With more gusto)
I am people
You are people
We are people too, the whole wide world is people toooo.


People People People People People People People People People People People
People People People People People People People People People People Peoplllllllllleeeeeeeee

- Decided to write a song that can be sung to Clients in meetings when they are being unreasonable and/or mean.

Try it at home first. We are gonna do several remix versions - House version, Rap Version, Country Version. It's gonna be huge. Thinking ringtones - then you can 'accidentally' let your phone ring during meetings. Brilliant.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mouse Burn

No it's not the title of some lame Walt Disney animated film. I have mouse burn. What a pathetic new age injury. But it's also proof of how hard I've been working of late. Maybe I should pop into to hr and find out about their mouse burn policies? The picture just doesn't do it justice. I made a little girl scream in horror earlier. Or it could have been an intern, whatever. The big moment is at 3:30, so say a little pray, do a little dance, or I'll have to keep slaving away and next time you'll be able to see the bone!

I'm going out for lunch.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

this nearly made me puke

I found this online. And thought : "mmm, I'm gonna blog about this later. No Doubt. Blog about a bag that says I'll blog about this later." And now I'm blogging about it later.

the room is spinning.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Happy cats and Gypsie washing

So, I went to Knysna with the Captain for a lovely week of foresty nothingness last week. With all the good intentions to blog like a madwomen when I returned, only to be hit by a wave of mental-patient-inducing work load. All good. Deep breathes. Think Forest creatures, etc.

Whilst I was on this blissful foresty retreat, the Captain and I attended the Sedgefield Crafty market - called Wild Oats. Traditionally we go every Saturday for the breakfast. Picture this : Soft, soft, soft breadroll. (Read A Million Little pieces while I was there, thats what what what the the the soft soft soft is about. Think that guy was just trying to get his total page count up with all that repetition. Plus he thinks he is some kind of anti-hero because he started doing crack then stopped doing crack, maybe don't do crack to begin with and be a real hero next time. Oprah was right to make him apologize. ) Back to breakfast : Perfect scrambled eggs, tomato relish from heaven and a boerie that will rock your world - all on one roll of lovelyness. Served to you by an aging hippie, who has rolled down the mountain to prepare this piece of magic for you. Rad.

Anywho, the other section of the market is filled with crafty things you would expect to find in Knysna. The tie-who-the-hell-actually-wears-that-shit-died dresses and T's. Material hearts embroidered with random Afrikaans Psalms, etc. One stroll around this crafty place, you'd have no idea there as a global recession taking place. People chilling out, really not concerned if you buy their painting of a butternut (Honestly, why paint a butternut?). Are these people so stoned they have don't have a clue? Or maybe it's us, the 80's WORD ALERT: The Rat Race People (T.R.R.P) who don't have a clue? *really close up shot of beady eyes*

So, as we strolled, I spotted this stall. Filled with leather purses, belts, bags and wooden hearts. The wooden hearts. where. awesome. Took me about an hour to choose one - couldn't decide between a picture of a happy smiling cat, smirking in dandelions and gypsies caravan with a washing line of gypsies undies (didn't know they wore bra's but didn't want to over think it). The 70% hippie 30% small business chick who made them was giving me the evil eye and getting really irritated with my indecisiveness, not that she could have been in a rush or anything? What was I keeping her from? Hadn't she rinsed her sprouts that morning? (Note: actually I'm making own sprouts now, organic and recession conscious = 10points) Eventually decided upon turquoise heart with gypsie washing.

Ands thats about as eventful as it got.