Monday, December 7, 2009

Who do you think you are?


Good question.

Thanks for asking Anon-comment-lack-of-humour-person, who clearly has balls of steel. Making anon comments left and right. Way. To. Go.

Well it got me thinking.

I am a youngish 'career' woman, working in a big red ad agency.
I like to sit in the sun with tea, with no-one talking to me or asking me to do anything.
I like to swim in the ocean when it is flat and there are no big scary waves.
I wasn't stuck in 6 hours of traffic after the Killers concert.
I hope I get a Christmas bonus, since I have worked my hypothetical balls off all year.
I have a collection of kitsch dolphin paraphernalia on my desk.
I went in to the Vodacom shop to replace my broken phone - rather rat faced - after the work Christmas party and didn't get a slip. But they remembered me anyway.
(Pictured above with fellow art director, Mike. Post-frolicking.)

I hope this clears things up for you insightful anon comment person.
Best of luck with life in general - I think you'll need it.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Future trend prediction - Ironic Prep


As previously predicted on Fluffy, the whole Twilight, pale vampire, lethargic, don't care vibe is definitely on the up. After Ogilvy's ultra posh and preppy white picnic staff party yesterday, it dawned on me (and Kate also mentioned it) this morning that the whole 'ironic prep' is so the next big thing. Emo plaid has had it's day, when the Tiger Tiger crew have joined in on your fashion fad, it usually/always means that it ain't 'all that' anymore.

Picture this. The we-are-awesome children are starting to mature - slightly - and have perhaps thought to themselves : maybe it would be nice if they didn't look malnourished and angry in all the photographs from their youth. I, Fluffy Bunny, predict emo's will hit the gym and the creatine. Start wearing jerseys around their shoulders and poof up their hair into a prefect Elvis type style. Girls will wear high pony's and poofy skirts with pleats and giggle, a lot. Think Archie comics meets Royale waitress.

Just a prediction.

Maybe I should name this 'fad' so that I can lay claim to it like the Nike tick, and I can do the 'I-told-you-so' dance all over town. (I better train for this, it'll require quite a bit of energy.)

I will call this.....Jockronic.
Will give it some time, it'll catch on.

Proof that I am a B-list web-lebrity.


Finally. I knew it all along!!!! But to have solid (or digital) proof is simply fantastic. See bottom left, PG 15, this months Enjin magazine. Rad. Going to demand more money for this. Perhaps I'll throw a diva like tantrum too, just to see how far I can push this new found fame. Hope I don't get stalkers. Or maybe that would be kind of cool, especially if they would be willing to carry my shopping. mmm.

Defintion: Web- lebrity.

One who is famous on the web.

Examples: Me. Perez Hilton. Britany Spears.(Who is actually 2 years older than me - this makes me feel like gloating and has totally changed my perspective on life. BEing 2 years younger than Britany that is)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

So sad, so tired



The day after. It has not sunk in yet, that's for sure. Walking around part zombie at the moment. Slept for 15hours and still feel a mess. But it's definitly been worth it. Had some amazing moments and made a few new awesome mates. Check out Cuan and I being interviewed by Zoopy TV. had no idea that I have a cape-townian accent on steroids. Will deal with this realization tomorrow. Or the next day. Sleepy time now - round 2.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Mental Case





So, I've been around the country in 10 days, still 4 to go to complete the round trip. It's like working 24hours, so needless to say there have been some 'delicate' moments. Maintaining sanity and composure on 3 hours sleep has been challenging. But overall the experiences have been amazing. I'm driving out of Stellenbosch, we are about to take our convoy past the Ogilvy building and then onto the Sea Point promenade (from 5 - 8) for our final 'signing event'. Really looking forward to seeing some familiar faces and 'Shooowow, how I have missed my mountain...woooow.' I now know for sure that I am a Cape townian till the end. Come on down and sign the car, it looks freakin awesome. Also, I could do with a hug! (More details to follow when I have slept for longer than 3 hours, my best moment so far was going into the 5fm offices and meeting the breakfast team, so much fun.) (Bra Matthews above, smelt like whiskey at 8am!)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Goodbye Citi - Hello Shaun


Ok, so the Citi campaign has been getting quite a bit of press coverage. But there is a a far more important campaign running in conjunction/parallel/at the same time.

Meet Shaun. Hello Shaun.

He is our marketer. (Yes, like we own him, or like a pet or something.)
He has been working very very hard. He has had no time to 'go on dates' or 'meet people'. So he is hoping that he can conduct a countrywide Girlfriend Survey whilst on our tour. He plans on using all his per diems on buying drinks for 'lovely ladies' he encounters on the way. If he can't find someone on this trip - he may consider emigrating.

Shaun's strong points:

He dresses real neat.
He writes lots of emails.
He has an iphone.
He lives in Seapoint - upper/Fresnaye.
He surfs...sometimes.
He thinks he may be the MD of something one day.
He will have about R125 to spend on drinks per day. (So get in there early.)
He is very sensitive.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Crazy times. Exciting Times.

Wow, what a mad week. So excited about work at the moment. Leave for road trip in 5days 15hr 10min 6secs. (really) The clock on our www.goodbyeciti.co.za page is making me super nervous/excited/unable to eat anything! I will try blog from the road - should encounter some cool peops/places/stories. A bit of a behind, behind the scenes if you will :) Maybe this is a first? Should check it out...maybe there is a reason it hasn't been done before? Come to think of it, who actually cares about behind,behind the scenes?? Hopefully fluffy bunnies will. Maybe this will become a new realty TV catergory? mmmmm.....


So, my mom (Gail) did a video for our campaign (She couldn't say no, and besides she owned one of the first Citi's in CPT - so genuine relevance!) Filmed this clip last Sunday, with a lovely glass of wine in my hand, before we had lunch.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

New Campaign - and how will I get everything in one bag!

My new campaign site launched today - www.goodbyeciti.co.za Looks so hot - thanks to the boys at Hello Computer and Ogilvy Interactive. So exciting! Leaving on Tuesday to go on a road trip around SA for 14 days! Only 4 girls - in a crew of 18. How on earth am I gonna fit all the things 'I need' into one bag? mmmm? Can't take 2 bags - then I'll just be subjected to daily Princess comments! Gonna have to think about this one.

Check out Tammy's video (Of Bob Sagget Dream fame) flipping hilarious! (love you Tam xx)

Monday, October 26, 2009

SWOOOSSH. CLAAAANG. Flop.


WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS LOTS OF ADLAND SPEAK.

The scene. Think Tarantino movie. I'll be Uma.(rad) It's about 6pm on a Monday. I've worked non-stop, even had AE's talking to me with lunch in my mouth. I made one cup of tea that went cold before I could drink it, the whole day. I'd worked all day Sunday - I was going home. But, nay. As I'm about to hit the lift button, someone, somewhere yells: "Half day, hey?" snigger, snigger. Slowing I turn, face twitching, eyes little evil slits: "What did you say?" Moron starts:"I said..." There is a load crack of lightening, a swift and deadly accurate SWOOOOOOOSH, as my sword/steel ruler/chunk of wood glides through the air at the speed of light. CLAAAAAANNNGGGGG! FLOP. I cut the asshole in 2 (or in half - get it? Half day...anyway) I say:"Anybody else have something to say?" Silence. I press the lift button, get in and go home. I may be able to catch a bit of Lettermen before supper. Nice.

WARNING: Do not ever, ever, ever say things like "Half Day" to an overworked creative in the year 2009. It's so freaking 80's Golden Age of advertising terminology. It's out of date - you sound OLD/Lame/stupid/annoying/out of touch. The last people who uttered phrases like that are either divorced, in rehab, dead or all 3. This is the New Ad Generation. We've witnessed the mistakes (and coke mood swings) of our forefathers. We have learned that balance is the key to a healthy life, and this will lead to better work. If you hole yourself up at work 24/7/365 and you never even see the world you are communicating to - then you'll lose touch and start to do work that is irrelevant. The New Ad Generation uses their time at work efficiently, and tries to get things done between 9-5. Because we don't want to end up like them - divorced, in rehab, dead or all 3.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stay Focused

It has come to my attention that some folks think my blog ‘lacks focus’. Sure you get the more slightly more famous, more focused blogs like ‘my boyfriend is a twat’ and ‘belle de jour’. Sure those chicks have book deals and a few more readers than me. But, I’m not going to date a loser and become a hooker so that my blog can become more focused. Actually, I think my blog is focused – focused on ‘randomness’. Yes, Randomness. It’s an outlet for all my random thoughts and occurrences. So from now on I’m going to become more focused in my randomness. Only the most random randomness will appear on Fluffy Bunny from now on. If it’s not extreme randomness, it’s not going on the blog. I’ll do things like Biz Stone, creator of twitter; he has launched a new range of ‘twitter wines’. This is a great example of randomness – what does wines have to do with twitter? Maybe research showed that people’s tweets are at least 67.45% more interesting when they have had a bottle of wine? And Biz thought – he I may as well supply that wine? Clever.
Think maybe Biz and I are onto something – stay tuned. ­

Laptop Trust Issues


I’m not sure if I am a laptop person? I’ve always wanted one, and I’m loaning one from work for the next few months, so that I can take my work home with me. (Awesome. Not.) ‘Laptop’ is very descriptive and obvious name. Just wondering why nobody considered calling it say, hunchovermachine? Or Indirectsunlightoryoucan’tseeshitmachine? Or Batteryhasshorterlifespanthanahouseflymachine?

I thought I wanted to be like those super cool Ray ban wearing peops at Vida, chilling with my laptop, coffee in hand, just cruising the web. Blogging a bit, emailing a bit, whatever caught my fancy? I’d be part of the super cool laptop elite, always connected. Strolling around just me and my laptop – just the 2 of us. Sigh. So then why do I feel like a fake?

Not too mention, I’m having trust issues with this white flimsy thing. I feel like I’m cheating on my other Mac. My hands all over this tiny keyboard, saving stuff all over the desktop. I’ve tried changing the desktop, adding some of my music; I may even install tweet deck. Hopefully these things will help me accept this white stranger. Fingers crossed the battery doesn’t die before I can post this.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bromance Evidence


Guy has let me publish this private Bromance email. I think he may be a bit off on some points. (most of them) But it is a sweet example of how beautiful Bromance can be:

Dear Cuan

10 Reasons why you are awesome.

1) You have gorgeous big brown eyes like some sort of Disney character.

2) You have thick,glossy hair.

3) You are very well spoken and considerate.

4) You aren't fat at all and actually have a fairly good build. Your arms, shoulders and back stand out much more than they did before.

5) You are very talented writer and thinker.

6) You are very tolerant and socially considerate.

7) You are extremely intelligent and insightful.

8) You are handsome.

9) You stand up for yourself when you need to and don't get caught up in petty issues.

10) You are really good at your job.

From Guy, your best bro forever!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

3Helix nonsense


Ok, so obviously I've noticed all the signs around town, the activity on Twitter and Alex's little tube on her desk. From the get-go I thought : mmmm, blue and black laces, 3 stripes....probably an addidas shoe launch or something totally street like that. Seeing as I'm not from the street. Or anywhere close, not even the sidewalk, I'm in a building with 'normal people'. I decided to consult my most street/wheat-pasting/gangster / tags trains in his spare time mate - Alexi McCarthy. A.k.a Wolf Cheek. A.k.a pet dog. He confirmed this suspicion. Which made me feel rather smug - and like a wicked street gangster chick. Think I need a shower after all this dirty street business.

Anyway, I'm still gonna go to their launch party.

Monday, October 19, 2009

New Word - Workmance


Romance Definition : A feeling of excitement and mystery - associated with love. An enjoyable love affair. To woo, or court. Typically involving 2 people - with mutual feelings of love. When involved in a romance people may glow or look slightly dreamy from time to time.

Bromance Definition : A feeling of excitement and mystery when you think of your Bro. When bro's get overly excited about being together - just them. A Bromance may involve many bro's. They may be prone to public displays of affection, such as cuddling / excessive hugging / way to much high five-ing. Bro's have been known to woo other bro's and have weekly man-dates at drinking establishments (like Neighborhood). When involved in a Bromance, men may glow or look slightly dreamy from time to time or stroll around aimlessly.


Workmance Definition : A feeling of excitement and a fluttery heart. (Like when you've had too many Vida's, which you probably have.) When people who work together seem to enjoy it a bit too much. They can often be found in corners chatting or making cups of tea together or perusing a power-point/PDF presentation together. A Workmance can involve 2 or more people - it's more of a J.Z polygamist set-up. Just like a romance - it can incur jealousy from onlookers. Especially people who do not have a Workmance of their own and have to rely on old episodes of The Office and Frasier to get their kicks. When involved in a Workmance, people may look over-stressed and really tired from time-to-time.

Friday, October 16, 2009

An Ode - To Rescue Remedy


It hasn't been the easiest month/year/decade for this fluffy bunny. So, I've decided to write an ode to this wonderful wonderful product - here is my tribute:


O' Rescue Remedy, how wonderful you are.
Ray of sunshine in my lightening storm of stress and woe.
White chew-able Knight that gallantly swoops in and saves me when I am abandoned in my red tower of Peril.
Sweet, fast-acting rainbow of loveliness.
How I adore your lack of side effects and non-addictiveness,
No matter how many of you I take at a time.

O' your homeopathic,mysterious, flower essence,
Your other unpronounceable and random ingredients.
Like a really awesome mythical creature you float in and save my ass time and time again

O' Rescue Remedy, how love thee, let me count the 150 tablets
May you never leave my side or handbag
May they never stop manufacturing you or I'll end up in Valkenburg.

O' Rescue Remedy, I owe my life,
or at least my twenties.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Marmite the Bunny



There I was, working at my computer on a Sunday afternoon. Not too stoked about life - in general. When I had a surprise visit from Miss Marmite the bunny. It was like a little fluffy bunny sign from the bunny Gods that everything is going to be 'Just Fine'. I mean - it's not everyday a bunny just randomly stops by for a visit - is it now?! Unless you are freakishly lucky, or like to wander around dressed as a giant carrot - then maybe.

She is a real bunny - not a figment of my imagination. (I hope) So cute. Apparently she is a really naughty bunny. (Aren't they all?) Stroking her naughty soft and super-duper fluffy hair, made me feel tons better about life - in general.

Concrete proof that a dose of Fluffy Bunny everyday - makes it a better day - in general.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Power Song Confession

It's time. I can't carry the burden of this secret any longer! The shame - oh - the shame!

My new power song is : David Guetta - When Love Takes Over. (feat. Kelly Rowland)

I'm sorry. I don't know why it makes me want to run to China, leap over mountains and jump around? What's wrong with me? How can this commercial crapiness make me want to do these things? So confused. May need a brain scan. My previous power song was : Groove Armada - Shaking that ass. Which considering my god-given asset, is a pretty reasonable/rational power song. And it used to work, but now since David - nothing. Not even a warm-up. I'm afraid to leave David's song on repeat - who knows where I'll end up running to? Like Forest Gump. (But blonder and way more fabulous) Even the video makes me cringe - I mean how original is running around a beach, really now. Not one ounce of under-groundness - it's so above ground - it's a freaking sky-scraper. Shit, I hope I don't start to wear excessive blue eyeshadow and self-tan. Oh dear.

I feel much better now. The world (or my 18 followers at least - who totally rock) now know. I have nothing to hide. I can step into the daylight, ipod in hand.

(I hope this is a passing phase - this rave/house/commercial phenomenon.)

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Does anyone in this picture turn you on?


On Saturday eve 3 brave lass's attended a birthday party at Tiger Tiger. As expected it is still a smoky, pukey carpeted pit of school-nerds. We decided to amuse ourselves by ordering a few weird drinks (2 for 1 specials - so you basically have to drink double what you'd normally consume. groan.) Things like 'lesbian school girls' and 'pink panties', Malibu and orange juice. (Why? bleeeh!) Also drank a lot of sweet JC le Roux. Bleeeh again.

We all crashed at Sambo's lovely little cottage in Newlands. I don't know if it was the concoction of sexual innuendo beverages, but everyone had really, really, really strange dreams. Especially Tam.

WARNING: This could be disturbing for some readers.

Alas. Miss Tam Tam had a sex dream - about - Bob Saget!? She must be the first person in about 20 years to have one of these. Perhaps, the first ever? (He would probably be super stoked if he knew - maybe she should mail him?) This 'desire' must have been shelved in her sub-conscious for about 15 years. I mean how about a sex dream about say Seinfeld - at least he is funny and has quirky friends, who aren't 5 year old twins. A Bob Saget Sex dream (B.S.S.D Syndrome) is definitely an early sign of 'crazy' a.k.a Loony Poon Syndrome. Worried. I told her to monitor her early 80's-icon sex dreams and if she starts to feel turned on by Mr T, Kirk Cameron or Dudley Moore, she should call for help immediately. (A doctor - not me. I'm not qualified to handle this type of sick sickness.)

Monday, September 28, 2009

The award for not throwing name goes to...



ME! Yay! First loeries ever I can walk around the office and look people in their bleary eyes without felling intense shame and panic. I am also pretty dang pleased with myself for managing to tweet throughout the 3 days, 11 parties attended, madness. Only one spelling mistake and a handful grammatical errors is pretty dang awesome - I may be elligable for the first Nobel Tweeting Magnificence award. But, don't want to get ahead of myself. I'll do a brief re-cap - mostly just to show off about how freakin cool and connected I am. (Not really if I compare myself to The Jake Bester, but not bad.)

Thursday: Registered at about 9:30am. Bumped into T.J.B (The Jake Bester) had coffee and went shopping at the waterfront. Went to non-advertising friends braai. (What! People who aren't IN advertising - how absurd!) Then went to the BARE party, hosted by Ami boys. Some really cool bears. There was free punch, popcorn and candyfloss under a big marquee tent. Their new exibition space is pretty new age rad, dig the way they are getting folks to bid online for the BARE's - gonna rake in way more $$$ that way. Clever. www.bare.amicollective.com Then went up the street to the FoxP2 party at Kink. Drank a Pussy. (New energy drink - not new 'persuasion'!) Was too sweet and nasty. Danced a little. (T.J.B was also there - a given)

Friday: Went to Mooi to get my hair done. (Hands down best hairdresser ever, about 6 fabulous foxy girls I know also get their hair done there.) Had tea and cupcake whilst getting hair cut - lovely. Went to Velocity party at the old Ignite. Men in tight leather mini's and heels squirting vodka into peoples mouths with giant syringes. That kind of thing. Took rad photos in their photo booth - want one for my living room when i get really really rich one day - Note bunny ears. Was relentlessly pursued by Jupiter man with a bottle of tequila, so arrived late and tipsy as hell at the Ogilvy pre-drinks. Broke shoe during the ceremony, after running around like a cheerleader on crack. Andy won gold and Mike ate a bag of something and danced with the minstrels. Which was actually T.J.B property. (T.J.B was obviously there too) Little bro gave me a lift home ( He was working there this year and just missed out on a Loerie this year. Next time dude!) Decided that limping around in tarty broken leather
-print stilettos was not very classy and went to sleep.

Saturday: Had breakfast with Gold Loerie winner @AndrewODo at Pukka. Went to Giant films party at The Grand in Camps. Was terribly posh and swanky. Nice chilled beats and wine. With oysters on a massive silver tray. Popped into Ogilvy lunch, then rushed to pimping party at this ridiculous mansion in camps bay. Where you could simply go up to the sushi chefs and order whatever you liked. Loads of seriously loaded BEE boys and girls there. Massive infinity pool and a private gym. Wanted to hide out and claim squatters rights in the morning, but left to go back to Giant party. Alexi got a booty call. Ogilvy got 'Lucky' (couldn't resist) and had way too many jaggers at the Cape to Cuba after party. Throwing name accounts: Craig puked in the middle of the bar and broke a glass table. Pretty. A certain client got rather frisky with everything that moved. Stemmlet had a mysterious neck 'injury' from the night before. Vampire proportions. (T.J.B was present - but missed out on the mansion party score +1 for Fluffy Bunny)

Sunday: Nothingness. refused Naomi Campbell style to get out of bed until the Captain brought me KFC. Which he eventually did after loads of nagging. Checked twitter all day for no particular reason. Worried I may be a little obsessed. How New Age sad.

Monday: Writing blog instead of working. Better start working. Sigh.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Beautiful, lovely flowers



The captain took me to Darling to see the wild flowers yesterday. Very romantic. Lots of frolicking and/or skipping involved. Went on an hour tractor ride into the fields. Such lovely smells and colours. Very inspiring. Made a little video - but don't know how to flip it! retard. So please tilt your head and watch - you get the gist of it! Added (mildly cheesy) Adele song to really get you in the mood.

video

Friday, September 18, 2009

4 Random Thoughts from the week


Gym encounter
I went to gym this morning, and popped in for a quickwizz before jumping on a machine. When I emerged from the cubicle, there was 'someone' waiting in line. I paused, mouth open, about to ask if maybe he was in the wrong bathroom, then stopped - Oh shit, I'm having a Semenya Moment! Then I thought about how stoked old Julius would be if he found out a blonde whitie had tuned someone in a gym bathroom. I closed my mouth and carried on walking, I did listen to hear if SheMan lifted the seat. She didn't. Close call.

Dinosaur Phase
Does everyone go through a dinosaur phase? My little bro did, but that was around about Jurassic Park time, so that made sense-ish. But now, my little almost-niece is also going through a dinosaur phase. Weird. Which made me think about all the kiddie dinosaur programmes - Barney, Denver the last dinosaur, the land before time, etc. Why are little humans so into dinosaurs? They can hardly tell you what they'd like for supper, but they're in love with creatures that roamed the earth millions of years ago? I never had a dinosaur phase. Will this result in a quarter-life crisis? "Oh dear, you didn't like the ol dino's, eh? Well I'm sorry to tell you, but you're totally fucked." Shit. Maybe it's some weird primal thing, left over from the caveman days? (Which makes me more advanced, or retarded. Not sure.) Gonna 'Google Shrink' this. Or just accept it and just continue with my life.

Nescafe Ad
There is this Nescafe ad on TV at the moment. It starts with saucy music, a close up of a pearl neklace, a girl drinking a cappuccino on a couch, she gets some foam on her lip etc. I've seen it loads of times, but didn't really pay attention, cause my brain has subconsciously pre-filed it as totally crap and not worthwhile. But then, last night it hit me. Jeez! The whole thing is a 'sexual metaphor'! Call me slow and/or an innocent. But what makes Nescafe think I'd want to drink a semen cappuccino!! Thats just freakin disgusting! Pearl Necklace. Coffee Bastards. Eeew! Boycotting.

Queen
There is this really cool BBC documentary about the Queen. I know it's just propaganda. It's supposed to make us all 'relate to her' on a 'human level'. But she isn't really human, is she? If they showed us things like her making a cup of tea or buying tampons, then maybe I'd buy what they are selling. Nice try BBC, you ain't fooling nobody!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Satan is in my radio


I was innocently driving and listening to the 5fm TOP 40 yesterday (Hosted by @Rob_Vember). I nearly swerved off the road when to my horror, Satan came on to announce the next part of the show. Really, like play your records backwards and get messages from the under world announcer. It was 'flippin scary bru!' 'Maybe it was some mistake? Surely this can't be for real, calm down Jen, maybe it's all in your head" But no, a few songs later he was back! It was like being in a very bad, 80's B-grade horror movie: Reee reee, it's coming from the radioooooo!! Satan is in the radio!!! Cue crazy demonic red alien thingy with horns 'emerging' from my tape-deck on the N1. Well at least it wasn't someone from Top Billing (I have a message from the 90's for you Alex Jay - it's over). Guess Satan would be a better announcer than Joanne Strauss. Probably a lot funnier too.

(Googled Satan Radio - found it. Obviously)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wrote a song

I am people
You are people
We are people too, the whole wide world is people toooo.

Chorus:

People People People People People People People People People People People
People People People People People People People People People People People

(With more gusto)
I am people
You are people
We are people too, the whole wide world is people toooo.


Chorus:

People People People People People People People People People People People
People People People People People People People People People People Peoplllllllllleeeeeeeee


- Decided to write a song that can be sung to Clients in meetings when they are being unreasonable and/or mean.

Try it at home first. We are gonna do several remix versions - House version, Rap Version, Country Version. It's gonna be huge. Thinking ringtones - then you can 'accidentally' let your phone ring during meetings. Brilliant.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mouse Burn


No it's not the title of some lame Walt Disney animated film. I have mouse burn. What a pathetic new age injury. But it's also proof of how hard I've been working of late. Maybe I should pop into to hr and find out about their mouse burn policies? The picture just doesn't do it justice. I made a little girl scream in horror earlier. Or it could have been an intern, whatever. The big moment is at 3:30, so say a little pray, do a little dance, or I'll have to keep slaving away and next time you'll be able to see the bone!

I'm going out for lunch.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

this nearly made me puke


I found this online. And thought : "mmm, I'm gonna blog about this later. No Doubt. Blog about a bag that says I'll blog about this later." And now I'm blogging about it later.

the room is spinning.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Happy cats and Gypsie washing


So, I went to Knysna with the Captain for a lovely week of foresty nothingness last week. With all the good intentions to blog like a madwomen when I returned, only to be hit by a wave of mental-patient-inducing work load. All good. Deep breathes. Think Forest creatures, etc.

Whilst I was on this blissful foresty retreat, the Captain and I attended the Sedgefield Crafty market - called Wild Oats. Traditionally we go every Saturday for the breakfast. Picture this : Soft, soft, soft breadroll. (Read A Million Little pieces while I was there, thats what what what the the the soft soft soft is about. Think that guy was just trying to get his total page count up with all that repetition. Plus he thinks he is some kind of anti-hero because he started doing crack then stopped doing crack, maybe don't do crack to begin with and be a real hero next time. Oprah was right to make him apologize. ) Back to breakfast : Perfect scrambled eggs, tomato relish from heaven and a boerie that will rock your world - all on one roll of lovelyness. Served to you by an aging hippie, who has rolled down the mountain to prepare this piece of magic for you. Rad.

Anywho, the other section of the market is filled with crafty things you would expect to find in Knysna. The tie-who-the-hell-actually-wears-that-shit-died dresses and T's. Material hearts embroidered with random Afrikaans Psalms, etc. One stroll around this crafty place, you'd have no idea there as a global recession taking place. People chilling out, really not concerned if you buy their painting of a butternut (Honestly, why paint a butternut?). Are these people so stoned they have don't have a clue? Or maybe it's us, the 80's WORD ALERT: The Rat Race People (T.R.R.P) who don't have a clue? *really close up shot of beady eyes*

So, as we strolled, I spotted this stall. Filled with leather purses, belts, bags and wooden hearts. The wooden hearts. where. awesome. Took me about an hour to choose one - couldn't decide between a picture of a happy smiling cat, smirking in dandelions and gypsies caravan with a washing line of gypsies undies (didn't know they wore bra's but didn't want to over think it). The 70% hippie 30% small business chick who made them was giving me the evil eye and getting really irritated with my indecisiveness, not that she could have been in a rush or anything? What was I keeping her from? Hadn't she rinsed her sprouts that morning? (Note: actually I'm making own sprouts now, organic and recession conscious = 10points) Eventually decided upon turquoise heart with gypsie washing.

Ands thats about as eventful as it got.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Oh holy crap - a ripple analogy


Oh dear. Alas I find myself the victim of a classic 'life' cliche. Life's like a box of chocolates, it's the thought that counts, yada yada yada... The other day I went for a long walk. On my own. On this walk I thought about stuff, and made decisions about stuff. Just 2 decisions. Which, is more than enough decisions for one walk. Still, I'm sticking to them and have starting implementing them slowing, but surely, this week. So to clear up the metaphor - "The decision is like the stone that caused the ripples of 'cool things' to flow through my week." said the Dalai Lama. "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. "He also said "The purpose of our lives is to be happy and to get to the Woolies sale really early, when the doors open. "

Dalai Lama - Proud supporter of the Fluffy Bunny Organisation.

Making the decision was the hard part. The rest feels kind of easy at this stage. I feel another metaphor coming on - "Deciding upon the destination is the tricky part, might as well enjoy the journey." James Earl Jones said to me. "Stick to the path you have chosen, or you might get lost. Which would suck balls hectically." He also said.

James Earl Jones - Proud supporter of the Fluffy Bunny Organisation.

James also said: "When I'm feeling down, I like to say - This is the world of CNN - to myself, and read fluffy bunnies. I just love it."

Thanks James And Dalai.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Don't give a crap

This is how it feels to not give a shit about silly people. Yes - naked under water while some guy surfs above your head. (as above - clearly) Lovely. lalalala.

Madmen Vs Jen - awards


"Aren't we trying to sell things?" Jen

"Can you win an award for that?" Mad Men

"No." Jen

"Stop with those whimsical ideas WOMEN!! Get back to thinking of clever advertising gimmicks, that appeared in Archive Magazine a couple years ago. Arg" Mad Men

"Nerds." Jen

Princess - word definition


- (noun) a daughter of a monarch.

- A legendary style icon who dies tragically - Diana & Grace

- Walt Disney leading lady, with mini waist and monster cleavage. eg. Ariel, Jasmine, Cinderella etc.

- Lifetime goal of girls world wide. (eg Paris Hilton, Posh)

- Woman who still believes her Prince will come.

- (verb) Woman who walks around in fragile condition, normally on heels and matchy matchy attire. May think she is the female ruler of the state from time to time.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Tiger Tiger Bet (nasty as it sounds)


At a boozy girls lunch on Saturday, a girlfriend of mine who bartender's at Tiger, Tiger (did some tard with a stutter name that place?) She claims that bartending is seriously hard work, way harder than my job, that she deals with far more assholes than I do and keeps her cool. Them is fighting words. Advertising isn't what it was in the 80's (far less cocaine and company lunches), but it sure ain't a freakin picnic! There are assholes swinging from the rooftops, ego's the size of the everest and plenty a tard in this here swine flu infected building! (Maybe a bit of exaggerating for dramatic effect, but I was well tipsy at this stage.)

Bet : Said friend will get said Advertising wench a shift at said night club establishment, probably this Saturday. If I don't loose my cool with alleged assholes and make more tips than said friend. I win.

I intended to practice pouring drinks at home for the Captain this week and may consider some fake tan (Uniforms on the skimpy side.) as preparation.

But back down!
NEVER!

Like Braveheart, without blue face paint, I charge into the carpeted, puke drying on the walls pit of assholes.

I shall return - triumphant!

Friday, July 31, 2009

Farewell Jake Bester


The day has come. To say good-bye to Captain Ogilvy. Jake Bester. The red stripe looks a little faded today, the bee's buzz is a little fainter. He is going forth into a new world of 'new' media. This is his blog farewell post. (Cards are totally 90's) (I know how much he loved reading my blog everyday - oh how we laughed and laughed.)

Fare. Well. Jake. Bester.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jake,
I will miss getting lost in your eyes
The endless, dreamy blue ocean of your eyes.
I would swim in that ocean
I would swim forever.
I would drown.
If you'd let me.

From Cuan

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wishful thinking maybe, but if we buy you a bandana will you stay?


Jacques

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bake the Cake -

I've worked out that I've known you half my life. In fact I don't think you age. When you're like 80 you'll be going on 35.

Anyway, good luck and enjoy your new adventure. Will see you on the circuit.

Cheers,

Robbie

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake, it's been real! Gonna miss you bud. The Ogilvy Football Team won't quite be the same, but at least we still have Dane. I will keep the flag of "reckless inappropriate motor vehicle advertising" flying high. Best for the new adventure. Don't forget the little guys.
Later, Andrew


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bye.

- Craig

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hey Jake...we haven't spoken much, but you've always been a cool guy. And you've done some amazing work for the agency. I wish you well at your new job. And...always have fun times.

Morne Brandt
Junior Copywriter

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake

Farewell Good Sir, Remember Jake... you need to believe.
Best wishes.

Dyl


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake. i never really knew you but i thought you had nice hair. bye.

Dean Jackson

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dearest Jake Bester,

Thanks for all those bordeline sexual times. I loved the way the awkwardness flew so easily off your chest and crotch region. I will miss all the hard times, so here's a little song from Kiss (did I say kiss)- what a coincidence.

Jakey Wakey,

"Live to win, 'till you die, 'till the light dies in your eyes
Live to win, take it all, just keep fighting 'till you fall

Live to win
Live to win

Yeah, live, yeah, win" - Paul Stanley from Kiss.

Luvvies,
Your little gingerkid
Matthew

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thando: "Jake is leaving????"
(sad face) Thinking out loud: There goes the studio's hotty!

You'll make the girls at your new office very happy!

**thando

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake,

I said I wish I knew how to quit you. Then you quit. Was it me? I can't help but think it was me.

I'm sorry, Jake. But I'm just so... so... so cold on the inside now.

I guess we'll always have Justin. And you'll always be my radtimesawesome.

Rage against the dying of the light.

Always.

Yours,

Ant

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Your surname starts with Best - I've heard that's where the English term originates from.

All the Best
Justin

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

thanks for the best nickname in the world, we'll miss you kid -

dark bum

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake, you're not bad looking for a lesbian.

I'd shag you any day.

Lots of love,
Rox

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Upside down and inside out
Simply the Bester’s about to show Habari what it's all about
Now it's time for Jake to get on the mic
And make this mother party hype
he's taking it back to the old school
'Cause he’s an old fool who's so cool
If you want to get down
He’s gonna show you the way whoomp there it is
Let me hear you say
Whoomp there it is
Whoomp there it is
Louder
Whoomp there it is

Whoomp chak a laka chack a laka chak a laka chak a (repeat 4 times)

Love Dane

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

all the bester and more for the new job.
hugs and kisses Stemmett

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake!!!

Just as I finally get to "look after you"....you leave!

be good out there!

Trace

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jake,

So it has finally come to this...
But it is not really goodbye, because there is a guy at gym who looks just like you. Only he has lank muscles.

His name is BeefJake and he has expressed a keen interest in the art of copywriting.

Good luck on the interweb.

Your First Art Director.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The content of this fairwell message has been removed for being too cheap.

Cohen

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Monday, July 20, 2009

Why can't we be friends?



Seems like all my friends are getting little animals lately. (Aren't pets really pre-kid substitutes? mmm?)Making me really jealous though, they are such cute munchkins! Look at Miss Dakota Kitty and Madam Emily Pooch!! So sweet.

Weekend Report Card


Read/ing : The Belle de Jour, a book based on a blog of a London Call girl. (belledejour-uk.blogspot.com) Her blog is only slightly more interesting than mine. (intense blog envy) Must say it's a rather 'educational' and intimidating book. Only got half way, not something I could read in public.

Listening : Obsessed with 'Super Massive Black Hole - Muse' at the moment. It's like sexy, evil syrup in song format, or a sexy evil crumpet covered in sexy evil syrup (hungry) - on repeat.

Drank : Too much red wine (dam) at Mary's Flat warming. (Did not go according to plan)

Ate : Divine breakfast (after BAD, excessive red wine evening) at Gainsburg. Arnold's is so 2006, and a grease pit with a siff fatso manager who hits on defenseless hungover people. yuck. Gainsburg - 2009 - Prince Harry ate there once. Nuff said.

Exercise : Yoga on Sunday. (Pain in new places today) and long walk along the Seapoint Promenade. Inspired by Encounters movie (Afraid to go into too much detail here, after extreme abuse from the Pet and Tard Copywriter, over Fokof blog post - jeez.)

Watched : Seapoint days - was so beautifully filmed, the director was there (Francois Verster), he gave a talk before the movie and everyone clapped afterwards. Went with my mom and dad, was lovely. www.seapointdays.co.za

Marks and Comments : B

Jennifer shows potential, if only she could stay more focused on her long term goals of fitness and happiness, and not be swayed by red wine. She is taking steps in the right direction. Keep it up Jennifer.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I LOVE THE NORTH


There, said it.

Very inspired after watching Fokofpolisiekar at Encounters last night. I thought that I would lay the cards on the table. (You'd better sit down for this.)

Yes, I grew up in Welgemoed. It is on the fringes of Bellville.
I went to primary school in Boston, Bellville.
Almost all my neighbours were Afrikaans and ran around without shoes on - a lot.
I have Afrikaans maatjies who went to D.F Malan High School. (Still called that - Madness)
I have been to those Nazi like atletiek days at the Bellville stadium. (scary)
I am from the other side of the boerewors curtain. And finally kind of proud of it.
(People are far more interesting out there. So what if my daddy's daddy didn't go to Bishops. Most southern suburbs people couldn't find the Blue Peter with a GPS, a compass and the help of Kingsley Holgate. Fokof.)

I'm not saying I am 'like the fokof' boys (cause I ain't) but when I say 'I get it', I get it.

It was fan-bloody-tastic to see such unapologetic behavior and such a (was about 5 years ago, but still) fresh take on music in South Africa. Not more freakin PC bullshit. Since so many of their lyrics are in higher grade Afrikaans and are usually screamed at you violently, it was awesome to appreciate ALL the lyrics (not just the 'hemel in die platteland' part) last night on the sub-titles. It was awesomely put together, flippin kiff graphics by the boys at Amicollective. I hope that that documentary is shown all over the world, it really shows what great things young south african musicians, producers and directors can do. That said, I think it could have been about 10min shorter, was a lot of repetition. I would also have been interested to know how black South Africans have responded to their music - for or against? I am so relieved and inspired to see that FINALLY some cool freakin shit is coming from the old regime. On Friday night at the VICE launch party a heavy metal band, made up entirely of black guys called Soweto played. They were awesome. The lead singer looked full on epic head banging with dreads. Hooray! For crossing cultures and embracing your own and where you grew up! Hooray!

It's about foking time!

Monday, July 13, 2009

a comment

Weirdly this morning I was just thinking how I rarely get any comments on my posts. And was a little bummed out, when I happened to spot one glistening comment of hope below my steri ambassador post. Only to have my hopes dashed by some 'anonymous' wanker. Look buddy, if you don't like 'fluffy bunnies' then go get stuffed. Also, shrinks say people who don't like animals are probably psychopaths (especially bunnies). So I don't want you, lame anonymous psychopaths reading my blog anyway. So just leave, pack that crazy little sarcastic bag and get on a doomed plane to nowhere and never come back. Asshole.

That said.

I'd love it if there were occasionally more comments on posts. It's so much fun.

The Great Tattoo Debate





"Don't all arty people have tattoos?" asked Miss. Cyn's boyfriend.

Guess it is a relevant left brain question. It is something I have pondered before too. How can you call yourself a real arty farty trendoid and not get something meaningful inked on your bottom? mmm? Madam Tam has a bird-like design on the back of her neck, she says that she doesn't actually see it everyday. She got it to remind her of a friend that passed and she doesn't see it as a tattoo, but as a reminder. This seems like a more relevant reason to get a tat than say the guy who is always on Clifton 2nd, and has 2 pistols on his tum, aimed at his 'member'. Although, maybe that is also very relevant? (Better be, that is an awful lot of hype to live up to Mr. Pistols.) Miss Cyn also saw a pretty blonde girl at the Claremont gym, with a Sharks (rugby team) logo in her tramp stamp region. Shockingly crap - she is gonna regret that one, once her poncy Villager's rugby playing boyfriend dumps her tramp stamp ass.

That said, I can't bring myself to trust anyone enough to execute my chosen design 'perfectly'. As a serious control freak art director, if one little line was out - it would plague me forever. It would be like looking at kak type settings for the rest of my days. (Sweating in a terror at the thought of this!) If however one day I do encounter some Leonardo Di Vinci type tattoo artist, I'd really like an antique rose upon my arty derrier, something that I will still like when I am a granny and I sip tea out of a little china cup - with just such a rose on it. That would be rad.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Arty Docy Film Crit time! woop woop!


Last night, The Captain (my man) and I went to the Encounters Film festival at the Waterfront to watch 'Afghan Popstar'. It is a BBC documentary that follows 4 contestants, from different ethnic groups, in a pop idol type show, in Afghanistan. Dancing and singing has been illegal in Afghanistan, until recently. 2 of the contestants were men, from different races. (Didn't realize that Afghanistan was once divided into 5 segments, according to ethnicity. Only knew a little bit about it from reading The Kite Runner.) 2 were women. One was very 'rebellious' and received death threats after dancing on stage. Being a MASSIVE fan of the American pop idol (it is the biggest show on earth, 90 million people voted in the last final. Adam was robbed. Anyway.) it was a shocker to see that the Afghan version was no more fancy than the average High school play. Being able to vote by sms was also the first time many of the young people had ever experienced 'democracy'. A man sold his car to help fund one of the contestants' poster campaign. At the finale, there were men with guns outside, women didn't wear scarves and the 2 finalists hugged each other. It was an eye opener. I would love to visit Afghanistan one day, it is an awesomely interesting and beautiful place. (Be awhile before a blondie can venture through those streets I reckon.)

It was crazy then to come home from watching a woman risk her life to dance and sing, to switch on the T.V and see MJ's funeral. Really cool how music can liberate just about anyone.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Steri Stumpie/Life Competition


Yesterday after seeing the cool marching band video at King James, Cuan and I decided to nominate each other to be Steri Stumpie ambassadors. We held a photo shoot, and everything.

Reasons why Cuan should be the ambassador:

1 : He is cynical and lonely. His life is lived in permanent shades of gray.
2: He looks good in pink and gay men like him. (Strawberry flavor is his favorite.)
3: A marching band would make him cut himself less and make him very happy, he may even dance around a bit.
4: He needs the steri stumpie rainbow of colour in his life to keep on swimming. (Like that fish in Finding Nemo. Although I prefer Dolphins, obviously.)

Reasons why I should be an ambassador:
(Cuan is being allowed to write this - it is a fluffy bunny first!!!)

1. She has a very low opinion of herself. Winning a competition like this might help.
2. She likes Steri Stumpie. More than she likes herself.
3: She once bought a Chocolate Steri Stumpie that "tasted like banana." Winning this competition will help her get over the trauma.
4. I'll get the opportunity to steal some of the Steri Stumpies she wins. This will benefit me.

We should win.

Obviously.

Monday, July 6, 2009

dudes

Awhile ago when I was supposed to be brain storming/earning a living, I drew these dudes instead. Seems as thought they should be friends. And they should do cool stuff together. Mr Montgomery is extremely wise and witty and drinks too much. Mr Smith is sneaky and trys to hard, but has rad teeth. Mr Tim is goofy and naive and laughs at everything. These guys rock.

Their Facebook status's should give you insight into their daily

Mr Smith is : watching Hitler finding out about MJ's death on Youtube.
Mr Montgomery is : recovering from a weekend of *Kraaifontein cocktails.
Mr Tim is : thinks he might have found the one.

**Kraaifontein - N1 somewhere, too far away for anyone that lives in 'town' to worry about.
*Kraaifontein cocktail = dbl Klipdrift brandy and coke on the rocks.

strangely profound

This is a drawing done for Cuan by the 8 year-old daughter of our one traffic lady.

Girl says : I have a boyfriend.
Boy says : I have nikes. (And is wearing what looks like a gold chain.)

What does this mean about Cuan/and society at large? Maybe she would prefer Cuan to wear nikes and gold chains and be her boyfriend? Maybe the fact that an 8 year-old gives a dam about nike and gold chains and draws strange Portuguese men is rather depressing/ and or funny.

Give up.

Biscuit Fury (or Furry)


SO I went to Biscuit Mill this weekend. Put in a sufficient tredoid effort to look 'hip and cool' so that I could blend in with all the hanging bicycles and dress-lights and seriously hip and cool locals, etc. Only to leave in a blind ranting fury, over a rather awesome furry (second hand) jersey. There is this rather rude, fake-British accent lady, in the design tent that has sourced cool 'label' second hand stuff. Like scarves from Liberty's and real wool jerseys from Germany etc. She wanted R150 for said jersey. But considering we were at a MARKET, I thought I'd try barter a bit and offer her R100. Only to be met with the smirky look and a shriek of 'how horrific, pay me what it says on the hand written label!' First up, I bought a dress the other day at a charity shop for R8 which people ask me if it's from Country Road, second up, isn't this place supposed to be a market??? I can buy an awesome Marion and Lindie dress for R800 - you silly design-tent cretins! I sew too and can locate charity shops. So - YOU AREN"T THAT SPECIAL - and - STOP TRYING TO RIP ME OFF!

Totally ruined it for me, after that everything seemed over priced and badly made. Bummed out , I decided to try Milnerton Market on Sunday. Which along with coughing old people, obese woman with Chihuahua's climbing all over her and a scattering of emo/trendoids, was far more 'cool'. Bargains and bartering galore and unashamedly.

Sure Milnerton isn't as 'pretty'. (it's actually best not to look too long at the people there) But at least it is a genuine market. And no-one spazzed all over me in a fake-accent.

Score:

Biscuit Mill : 4/10 (Points for prettiness and coolness)
Milnerton Market : 8/10 (No freak out, lots of freaks, entertainment value.)