Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS LOTS OF ADLAND SPEAK.
The scene. Think Tarantino movie. I'll be Uma.(rad) It's about 6pm on a Monday. I've worked non-stop, even had AE's talking to me with lunch in my mouth. I made one cup of tea that went cold before I could drink it, the whole day. I'd worked all day Sunday - I was going home. But, nay. As I'm about to hit the lift button, someone, somewhere yells: "Half day, hey?" snigger, snigger. Slowing I turn, face twitching, eyes little evil slits: "What did you say?" Moron starts:"I said..." There is a load crack of lightening, a swift and deadly accurate SWOOOOOOOSH, as my sword/steel ruler/chunk of wood glides through the air at the speed of light. CLAAAAAANNNGGGGG! FLOP. I cut the asshole in 2 (or in half - get it? Half day...anyway) I say:"Anybody else have something to say?" Silence. I press the lift button, get in and go home. I may be able to catch a bit of Lettermen before supper. Nice.
WARNING: Do not ever, ever, ever say things like "Half Day" to an overworked creative in the year 2009. It's so freaking 80's Golden Age of advertising terminology. It's out of date - you sound OLD/Lame/stupid/annoying/out of touch. The last people who uttered phrases like that are either divorced, in rehab, dead or all 3. This is the New Ad Generation. We've witnessed the mistakes (and coke mood swings) of our forefathers. We have learned that balance is the key to a healthy life, and this will lead to better work. If you hole yourself up at work 24/7/365 and you never even see the world you are communicating to - then you'll lose touch and start to do work that is irrelevant. The New Ad Generation uses their time at work efficiently, and tries to get things done between 9-5. Because we don't want to end up like them - divorced, in rehab, dead or all 3.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Think maybe Biz and I are onto something – stay tuned.
I’m not sure if I am a laptop person? I’ve always wanted one, and I’m loaning one from work for the next few months, so that I can take my work home with me. (Awesome. Not.) ‘Laptop’ is very descriptive and obvious name. Just wondering why nobody considered calling it say, hunchovermachine? Or Indirectsunlightoryoucan’tseeshitmachine? Or Batteryhasshorterlifespanthanahouseflymachine?
I thought I wanted to be like those super cool Ray ban wearing peops at Vida, chilling with my laptop, coffee in hand, just cruising the web. Blogging a bit, emailing a bit, whatever caught my fancy? I’d be part of the super cool laptop elite, always connected. Strolling around just me and my laptop – just the 2 of us. Sigh. So then why do I feel like a fake?
Not too mention, I’m having trust issues with this white flimsy thing. I feel like I’m cheating on my other Mac. My hands all over this tiny keyboard, saving stuff all over the desktop. I’ve tried changing the desktop, adding some of my music; I may even install tweet deck. Hopefully these things will help me accept this white stranger. Fingers crossed the battery doesn’t die before I can post this.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Guy has let me publish this private Bromance email. I think he may be a bit off on some points. (most of them) But it is a sweet example of how beautiful Bromance can be:
10 Reasons why you are awesome.
1) You have gorgeous big brown eyes like some sort of Disney character.
2) You have thick,glossy hair.
3) You are very well spoken and considerate.
4) You aren't fat at all and actually have a fairly good build. Your arms, shoulders and back stand out much more than they did before.
5) You are very talented writer and thinker.
6) You are very tolerant and socially considerate.
7) You are extremely intelligent and insightful.
8) You are handsome.
9) You stand up for yourself when you need to and don't get caught up in petty issues.
10) You are really good at your job.
From Guy, your best bro forever!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Ok, so obviously I've noticed all the signs around town, the activity on Twitter and Alex's little tube on her desk. From the get-go I thought : mmmm, blue and black laces, 3 stripes....probably an addidas shoe launch or something totally street like that. Seeing as I'm not from the street. Or anywhere close, not even the sidewalk, I'm in a building with 'normal people'. I decided to consult my most street/wheat-pasting/gangster / tags trains in his spare time mate - Alexi McCarthy. A.k.a Wolf Cheek. A.k.a pet dog. He confirmed this suspicion. Which made me feel rather smug - and like a wicked street gangster chick. Think I need a shower after all this dirty street business.
Anyway, I'm still gonna go to their launch party.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Romance Definition : A feeling of excitement and mystery - associated with love. An enjoyable love affair. To woo, or court. Typically involving 2 people - with mutual feelings of love. When involved in a romance people may glow or look slightly dreamy from time to time.
Bromance Definition : A feeling of excitement and mystery when you think of your Bro. When bro's get overly excited about being together - just them. A Bromance may involve many bro's. They may be prone to public displays of affection, such as cuddling / excessive hugging / way to much high five-ing. Bro's have been known to woo other bro's and have weekly man-dates at drinking establishments (like Neighborhood). When involved in a Bromance, men may glow or look slightly dreamy from time to time or stroll around aimlessly.
Workmance Definition : A feeling of excitement and a fluttery heart. (Like when you've had too many Vida's, which you probably have.) When people who work together seem to enjoy it a bit too much. They can often be found in corners chatting or making cups of tea together or perusing a power-point/PDF presentation together. A Workmance can involve 2 or more people - it's more of a J.Z polygamist set-up. Just like a romance - it can incur jealousy from onlookers. Especially people who do not have a Workmance of their own and have to rely on old episodes of The Office and Frasier to get their kicks. When involved in a Workmance, people may look over-stressed and really tired from time-to-time.
Friday, October 16, 2009
It hasn't been the easiest month/year/decade for this fluffy bunny. So, I've decided to write an ode to this wonderful wonderful product - here is my tribute:
O' Rescue Remedy, how wonderful you are.
Ray of sunshine in my lightening storm of stress and woe.
White chew-able Knight that gallantly swoops in and saves me when I am abandoned in my red tower of Peril.
Sweet, fast-acting rainbow of loveliness.
How I adore your lack of side effects and non-addictiveness,
No matter how many of you I take at a time.
O' your homeopathic,mysterious, flower essence,
Your other unpronounceable and random ingredients.
Like a really awesome mythical creature you float in and save my ass time and time again
O' Rescue Remedy, how love thee, let me count the 150 tablets
May you never leave my side or handbag
May they never stop manufacturing you or I'll end up in Valkenburg.
O' Rescue Remedy, I owe my life,
or at least my twenties.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
There I was, working at my computer on a Sunday afternoon. Not too stoked about life - in general. When I had a surprise visit from Miss Marmite the bunny. It was like a little fluffy bunny sign from the bunny Gods that everything is going to be 'Just Fine'. I mean - it's not everyday a bunny just randomly stops by for a visit - is it now?! Unless you are freakishly lucky, or like to wander around dressed as a giant carrot - then maybe.
She is a real bunny - not a figment of my imagination. (I hope) So cute. Apparently she is a really naughty bunny. (Aren't they all?) Stroking her naughty soft and super-duper fluffy hair, made me feel tons better about life - in general.
Concrete proof that a dose of Fluffy Bunny everyday - makes it a better day - in general.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
My new power song is : David Guetta - When Love Takes Over. (feat. Kelly Rowland)
I'm sorry. I don't know why it makes me want to run to China, leap over mountains and jump around? What's wrong with me? How can this commercial crapiness make me want to do these things? So confused. May need a brain scan. My previous power song was : Groove Armada - Shaking that ass. Which considering my god-given asset, is a pretty reasonable/rational power song. And it used to work, but now since David - nothing. Not even a warm-up. I'm afraid to leave David's song on repeat - who knows where I'll end up running to? Like Forest Gump. (But blonder and way more fabulous) Even the video makes me cringe - I mean how original is running around a beach, really now. Not one ounce of under-groundness - it's so above ground - it's a freaking sky-scraper. Shit, I hope I don't start to wear excessive blue eyeshadow and self-tan. Oh dear.
I feel much better now. The world (or my 18 followers at least - who totally rock) now know. I have nothing to hide. I can step into the daylight, ipod in hand.
(I hope this is a passing phase - this rave/house/commercial phenomenon.)
Sunday, October 4, 2009
On Saturday eve 3 brave lass's attended a birthday party at Tiger Tiger. As expected it is still a smoky, pukey carpeted pit of school-nerds. We decided to amuse ourselves by ordering a few weird drinks (2 for 1 specials - so you basically have to drink double what you'd normally consume. groan.) Things like 'lesbian school girls' and 'pink panties', Malibu and orange juice. (Why? bleeeh!) Also drank a lot of sweet JC le Roux. Bleeeh again.
We all crashed at Sambo's lovely little cottage in Newlands. I don't know if it was the concoction of sexual innuendo beverages, but everyone had really, really, really strange dreams. Especially Tam.
WARNING: This could be disturbing for some readers.
Alas. Miss Tam Tam had a sex dream - about - Bob Saget!? She must be the first person in about 20 years to have one of these. Perhaps, the first ever? (He would probably be super stoked if he knew - maybe she should mail him?) This 'desire' must have been shelved in her sub-conscious for about 15 years. I mean how about a sex dream about say Seinfeld - at least he is funny and has quirky friends, who aren't 5 year old twins. A Bob Saget Sex dream (B.S.S.D Syndrome) is definitely an early sign of 'crazy' a.k.a Loony Poon Syndrome. Worried. I told her to monitor her early 80's-icon sex dreams and if she starts to feel turned on by Mr T, Kirk Cameron or Dudley Moore, she should call for help immediately. (A doctor - not me. I'm not qualified to handle this type of sick sickness.)